Week 6

Alright,

So this week has been rough. I know I need to do what's best for me, but I have been questioning a lot lately. It's like I want to do so much but at the same time I do not know if what I am doing is correct or not. I worry that I am making the wrong choice and I worry that I am letting everyone down. I made a huge session and I did not want to worry anyone so I did it without consulting anyone. At the time it seemed like a good idea but now I do not know if I have been just telling myself that to not face the fact that I might have made a mistake.

I made the choice to take a break from school. I needed to breath, my anxiety has only duplicated, I kept waking-up and having anxiety attacks. My stomach was always in knots. That's what drove me to make the choice that I made to take a break. To just work and work on myself. When I finally told my support group, I saw nothing but disappointment so maybe I should've thought this all the way through.

Maybe I was being selfish in making this decision on my own. I do not regret it though. Since I have been on break I have been able to breathe and just work on myself. Most important I have re-found my love for my career. I re-discovered why I love what I do, and why I love doing it. My life's passion and purpose is to be teaching and helping shape young minds. To me there is nothing better than watching a student try a new problem or reading about something new and then understanding it and wanting to learn more about what they are studying.

That re-discovery may have never happened if I did not take a break from school. I love learning and I love trying new things, but I am not an online learner. I get really bad headaches and it overwhelms me to the point where I just want to crawl into my bed and never be disturbed. So I am taking break. I am not putting school I just need to breath and learn to give myself time to feel better and to work on my mental health.